Here is what I think:

-Hillary Clinton needs to drop out of the race.

-Star Jones should have her vocal cords removed.

-I should exercise. Like even once a year because seriously, that would increase my current exercise yield by like 100%.

-People in cults should just be sterilized.

-People who lock their kids in secret basements should be shot on sight, no questions asked.

-"The View" should be taken off the air.

-If you cannot pay a mortgage, you should not be allowed to buy a house. Period.

-Polenta should be offered at basically every restaurant. Because it's awesome.

-We should all be tan from birth until death.

-The people who get excited to see you, are the only people you should ever spend time with.

-As a nation, we should apologize to our military service personnel for what we've done to them.

-People should respect the Volvo.