I was asked recently to take stock of my life. I've decided to compile THE LIST.
This is only the beginning...
My bucket list:
travel to the Middle East
pray at the Western Wall
adopt a child
give birth
eat at French Laundry
ride a camel in the desert
travel to Africa
volunteer in Appalachia
live in a foreign country for 1+ year
learn to make sushi
write a $10,000 check to charity
publish a book
own a dog
walk on the Great Wall
live in a city on a lake
heli-ski
stay in the presidential suite (of any 4 star hotel)
run with the bulls
take flying lessons
break 80 on the golf course
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Admittal.
I can feel when the end begins. We hold on more tightly. Going above and beyond, working harder for smaller moments spent together.
I had lunch with an old friend recently. I knew at the end of the few hours we spent together that we had come full circle and found the end of it. We had both moved on with our lives and it was the first time in my adult life that had happened. Closure and honesty and then silently walking away, with our backs turned, into the future and into our lives, which in no way involved one another.
Now I feel the end of something else. This time a working relationship. It has meant more to me than I have allowed myself to admit and the idea of being without it saddens me in a capacity, that up until now, I had never known.
The seasons are changing. I am holding my breath.
Never sun without rain.
I had lunch with an old friend recently. I knew at the end of the few hours we spent together that we had come full circle and found the end of it. We had both moved on with our lives and it was the first time in my adult life that had happened. Closure and honesty and then silently walking away, with our backs turned, into the future and into our lives, which in no way involved one another.
Now I feel the end of something else. This time a working relationship. It has meant more to me than I have allowed myself to admit and the idea of being without it saddens me in a capacity, that up until now, I had never known.
The seasons are changing. I am holding my breath.
Never sun without rain.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the simple (yeah, right) fact that life comes in seasons. There isn't a jumping off point into the abyss that I believed happiness occupied. No single moment where happiness began for me. Millions of those instead, little glimpses and instances of perfection. I pray now those instances happen closer and closer together.
That's foolish. I realize that.
There has to be rain.
And the milestones we set are not milestones at all when you arrive at them. Covered in the dirt of hard work and determination, I have always found myself at a precipice of ownership when I reach goals I, at one time, believed to be milestones. I didn't jump for joy like a child. I walked steady, like a woman who had earned her way into that promotion, that new car, that vacation, that home- that life.
I struggle that things are not all good or all bad. Most things are both. And you don't just get sunshine, you get that rain. That sometimes unseemingly stoppable rain.
When it's peaceful I miss the mind fuck.
And yet I wish for peace of mind on almost every shooting star.
That's foolish. I realize that.
There has to be rain.
And the milestones we set are not milestones at all when you arrive at them. Covered in the dirt of hard work and determination, I have always found myself at a precipice of ownership when I reach goals I, at one time, believed to be milestones. I didn't jump for joy like a child. I walked steady, like a woman who had earned her way into that promotion, that new car, that vacation, that home- that life.
I struggle that things are not all good or all bad. Most things are both. And you don't just get sunshine, you get that rain. That sometimes unseemingly stoppable rain.
When it's peaceful I miss the mind fuck.
And yet I wish for peace of mind on almost every shooting star.
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