Time Passing

Needs to work on myself.

Messed up.

I messed up good this time. Opened my mouth and shared secrets. Hurt a friend, but asking myself now, why would I have done that? Which can only mean I need to spend time reflecting on why I opened my big-ass mouth.

In any event, like most dumb moments, you have to accept it. Apologize and do better next time.

a little bit of my truth

Sometimes I think too much. (read: always.)

So I always find more to say. I'm sure that's true for everyone. Given a clear head, a week of good nights sleep's and my medication everyday, I'm an expert at what to say in every conversation. Stupid Hindsight being 20/20 and shit. HOW useless is that? Thank you for NOTHING, Hindsight. NOTHING.

Anyway, so there is always more to say. And yet I'm learning, maybe not. Maybe it's good some things stay hidden. I hate that being the case, but there are so many things I'm learning to accept that I hate that I might as well give this crappy reality a shot of existing.

I keep repeating to myself that, "the truth lives forever." Which I staunchly believe. You can tell people otherwise, you can convince yourself or anyone, but the truth stands there, staring at you. Existing beyond your control. You can pretend and ignore and shut it out, but the truth does not change. It might be the only things in the entire existence of a human that doesn't change. In the instant it exists, the truth is very clear, moment to moment and situation to situation.

So I lean back on that. I feel like I rest against it; the truth. I feel like it's the only thing I can depend on in a contrived world.